“In love, the woman often loses her autonomy. She makes her happiness depend on the man's love, subordinates her freedom to his approval. Authentic love must be a freely chosen relationship between two independent subjects, not a fusion where one dissolves into the other.”
—
Simone de Beauvoir
The Second Sex (1949), Book Two; The Ethics of Ambiguity (1947)
Commentary
Beauvoir critiques the romanticized ideal of self-sacrificial love, which she saw as uniquely imposed on women. Authentic love requires that both partners remain autonomous subjects, each with their own projects and freedom, freely choosing to share their lives.
This was controversial: it challenged the mystification of love and marriage, especially for women. Beauvoir did not deny love's importance but insisted it must not entail the surrender of freedom. She lived this philosophy through her relationship with Sartre.
Commentary
Beauvoir critiques the romanticized ideal of self-sacrificial love, which she saw as uniquely imposed on women. Authentic love requires that both partners remain autonomous subjects, each with their own projects and freedom, freely choosing to share their lives.
This was controversial: it challenged the mystification of love and marriage, especially for women. Beauvoir did not deny love's importance but insisted it must not entail the surrender of freedom. She lived this philosophy through her relationship with Sartre.